I had a garage sale this weekend. I wonder at some of the things I have acquired over the years. Wonder why I kept it, that is. There were several items I can remember buying just a few years, and in some cases, months ago. For some reason, I thought they were things I couldn’t live without at the time. So dire was that need apparently, that I don’t feel a wrench as I write “25 cents” on a fluorescent sticker and place it on a handbag that cost me $30.
I know why I have kept all that stuff, rather why I “keep” stuff. It’s mostly because I don’t want to let go. Most of the items in this sale are things I’ve had for a very long time: a little doll someone gave me on my birthday, the scarves my grandmother used to keep in her drawer, some trinket I picked up in Scotland. They all connect me to someone or something, some place in time—someone, something, some place I hope to experience once more. I suppose that somewhere inside I feel that if I let go of these things, I am giving up that hope of return. I know that isn’t necessarily true, but it’s something I’ve always wrestled with.
There comes a time when you just have to let go, be it an item you’ve outgrown, the dream of a distant country, or a relationship you hoped to one day restore. Too often we hold on to things long after we’ve had to give them up, long after they have in whatever manner let go of us. Myself, I have spent hours, days, years even lamenting decisions I have made, friends I have lost, places in time that are gone forever except in my memory. “Why?” I wonder now. “Why did I hold on for so long . . . to something that wasn’t holding on to me?” Letting go doesn’t minimize the significance of an event or person in our lives. God closes the door on aspects of our lives so that we can focus on what He has planned for us, which is usually better than anything we could conceive ourselves. It’s still hard, though.
I resolved not to make any New Year’s resolutions this year. But since everyday in Christ is New Year’s Day, I’m resolved to work on not holding on to things that aren’t holding on to me. I want to stop being consumed by all that I can’t leave behind and be ready for what God has in store for me. It’s a good thing every day is New Year’s Day because it’s going to take a lot of New Year’s Days to get this one down.
