“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
Why are you so far from saving me,
so far from my cries of anguish?
My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer,
by night, but I find no rest.” Psalm 22:1-2
I love this Psalm. It exemplifies frustration with personal suffering and the human struggle with persevering when God seems far away. I have had a terrible week that, so far, has been the worst part of a terrible 7 months. My dog died a week ago. I had some hard truths laid on me about things I knew deep down but haven’t wanted to acknowledge. On top of my job and grad school and the grind of daily living, I’m feeling defeated. Mostly I feel like God is far away. Why else would all these awful things be happening, right? Yeah, I know better than that. In fact, I believe God is working on me at present. Likely answering a prayer to grow me into who He wants me to be. I know what I’m asking for when I pray those prayers, but sometimes I don’t consider the cost.
I used to believe like many who claim to be Christians that I could never get mad at God. I could never question Him. That I just had to smile, shrug and say, “He knows best!” The problem with that is that it is not natural. It is not even what is evidenced in Scripture, however, as this Psalm demonstrates. Clearly, David is going through a rough patch and he’s waiting for God to rescue him from his calamity. He’s not the only one. Moses often brought complaints before God when he was frustrated as the leader of Israel. Habakkuk stood on the ramparts, even as the Babylonians were preparing to march on the Kingdom of Judah, protesting the coming judgment on God’s people. And Christ on the cross cried out once more the words uttered by David long before Him, “Why have You forsaken me?”
We can cry out to God. We can ask Him why. In the movie Shadowlands, Anthony Hopkins as C.S. Lewis tells his students, “Fight me! I can take it.” I believe God wants us to bring our frustrations to Him, even if they are about Him. 1 Peter 5:7 says to “cast ALL your anxieties on Him” because He cares for us. Not just the big things. Not just the little things. All the things. He can take it. I think He even prefers it as He so desires relationship with us. I think people don’t express their frustration with God because of the lessons of Job, but notice what David, Habakkuk, and Christ did. Instead of demanding a response from God, they remembered Who He was:
“From birth I was cast on You; from my mother’s womb You have been my God . . . You are my strength; come quickly to help me . . . I will declare Your name to my people; in the assembly I will praise You . . . For He has not despised or scorned the suffering of the afflicted one; He has not hidden His face from him but has listened to his cry for help . . . for dominion belongs to the LORD and He rules over the nations.” Psalm 22:10, 19, 22, 24, 28.
“LORD, are you not from everlasting? My God, my Holy One, you[c] will never die . . . LORD, I have heard of your fame; I stand in awe of your deeds, LORD. Repeat them in our day, in our time make them known; in wrath remember mercy.” Habukkuk 1;12; 3:2
“Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.” Luke 23:46
I have wept for my sweet dog, Sophie. I have asked why a constant and a comfort in my life had to leave me so soon. I have lamented the truth because it means that things have to change and I don’t take change well. I have asked God why everything seems so hard right now and couldn’t He have found another way to work in my life. But I know why. He has a plan and a purpose for me and He causes all things to work together for good to those that love Him (Romans 8:28). I also know that sometimes, unfortunately, He has to rock my world to get my attention and get me back on course. Even more than that He is my God—Master, Creator, Almighty One. And on a summer’s day long ago I committed my life to Him and all that came with it. So I thank Him for the few years I had my wild pup; and I thank Him for the change even if I don’t know where my journey will take me next. I even thank Him for the hard because I know “that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:3-4). I also remember His words for Moses to relay to Joshua, “the LORD your God is the one who goes with you (J)He will not fail you or forsake you” (Deut. 31:6). It takes a while, though. I know these things, know them in my head. My heart just needs a little time to catch up.
