I recently spoke with a friend whom I had been out of touch with for many years. As we filled one another in on our lives, I was stunned to learn that my friend had suffered horrific events and painful hardships. What really upset me was that these things occurred in a large environment of Christians and my friend could find no sanctuary. I was outraged because the safest place on this earth should be the body of Christ. My first instinct was to say, “If I had known, I would have been there for you.” I knew immediately, however, that was not true. I was so entangled in my own struggles during those years that I don’t know what I’d have done. I have a feeling, though, that I would not have been compassionate or supportive.
I was heartbroken and wept after our conversation. I wept for my precious friend. I wept over the realization that I would have failed them even if we had remained in contact. I wept over the idea that anyone would have to endure such trials alone.
By the grace of God, through renewed, regular Bible study and experiencing the love and example of the saints at the Open, I know better now. I understand more the compassion Christ shows to people. It seems silly to say that. I’ve been a Christian and loved God for most of my life, yet somehow I missed something somewhere. That sounds sillier to me because I was a student of His word. I read the stories. I learned about Jesus and saw how He cared for people. Lonely people, hurting, confused people; people who were broken by sin and despair. So how could I have missed it?
When I started developing this post in my head, it was borne out of anger, frustration—and was intended as a rant against all that is wrong in the church. I had a hard time finding the words, oddly enough. Weeks later I realize that harsh words would not be constructive or right. God has always been faithful about sealing my lips and blocking my pen when I’m angry. The truth is, it doesn’t matter why or how I missed the mark. What matters now is that I don’t miss it anymore. The best way I can facilitate change is to start with myself. Jesus was always a safe place for the lost, hurting, and broken. If I am truly seeking to be like Him, then I must be the same. Whether that means showing compassion to someone who’s never known Jesus or seeking out my brothers and sisters, too ashamed and broken by sin, who feel they can never come home. Lord God, please help me be like Jesus . . . help me be a safe place.
4 comments:
I appreciate your words, Lisa. The body of Christ is full of broken, sinful people. I know this because I belong to the body. It is important for me to keep in mind that I hold great potential to hurt my brothers and sisters and to sidestep that as much as possible, because my responsibility to them is great indeed. I need to be a facilitator of healing, not hurting. That is what Jesus did deliberately. It is a decision I have to be deliberate about and constantly be aware of and be on my guard.
You are good, girlie! I love you bunches!
When I initially read this post I was reading it from the perspective of the friend. I was that person. I went through things that most people still don't know about ... while surrounded by Christians ... Christians that loved and cared for me. Christians that would have probably helped me any way they could ... if they only would have known what I was going through.
I didn't tell them ... didn't let them in. I would hint at things, but rarely state anything outright. It's like I was wanting them to read my mind, and then punishing them for not being able to. I have to take responsibility for that now. I have to be able to be honest and know that my sin and shame kept me imprisoned with embarrassment. I could not ask for help, because I would have had to admit my sin.
I read the post again this morning and read it from the perspective of the one needing to reach out ... to be the safe place. If I can't be the safe place then I can at least let others know that there is a safe place available.
The hardest part for me having been on both sides ... is knowing how much to push. When I was the one living in sin and embarrassment I really just wanted to be left alone. Anyone that tried to push was seen as the enemy to me.
So now it's hard for me to push ... I'm afraid of becoming the enemy. I guess I have to find a balance there somewhere. The Open is a good place to be. For the most part it's a safe place for both sides. Someone struggling knows they are safe to share that struggle ... and someone willing to help knows that the one's struggling are there because they want the help.
Lots of thinking to do on this one ... thanks Lisa.
I, too, have been on both sides of this issue. I was extrememly broken and bruised and pushed away any and all Christians that tried to help me. I was hurt and saw everyone as the enemy. I was so defensive because of my embarrassment(no that's not a strong enough word...SHAME comes closer)shame over my sins. I really just wanted to disappear. But since that wasn't going to happen, I ran away from every good thing the Lord had given me. I jumped headfirst into the pit and wouldn't reach for the hand trying to rescue me.
God was so merciful in letting me live long enough to come to my senses and FINALLY let someone help me. That started with the most tentative steps, timid moves and hesitant, gentle words. But at least it started. And, thank you Father, finally led to me coming Home.
I want to help hurting people like I was helped. I know that I will need God's wisdom to be able to do that effectively. One of the things I love most about Jesus is the compassion He showed to so many...I need to learn that and live that so others can have a safe place to find Him. Because only with His love can true healing happen. Thank you Lisa for this post...reminds me of who I need to be.
Your words are good reminders that we always need to look at ourselves as Christ's ambassadors--because we are. How is my attitude influencing others to move towards His love? Maybe the struggle is not theirs alone, but one I too need to be more sensistve to--how tender hearted I am--how involved with others I am--how giving I am. Thank you for the reminder.
And I believe when God looks at you He surely sees His Son.
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