The late Richard Carlson, PhD, authored a well known series of books called “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff”. His intent was to help people not allow the little things in life overwhelm and stress them. A noble cause and they are great books worth reading. One of the things I struggle with from time to time is not letting the small stuff get to me. In general, I believe that most stuff isn’t worth the worry I put into it. However, when it comes to the application of that belief, I still manage to go off the reservation.
Let’s face it, the little things do matter. How often have we heard the phrase, “It’s the little things . . .” in a positive reference and a negative one? OFTEN. I hear it all the time when people are talking about relationships: “And he put the seat down after he used the restroom! I know that’s such a little thing, but it was really considerate!” or “And he left the freaking seat DOWN!!! I know it’s a little thing, but ARGH!!!!” (You can tell it’s been awhile for me, that really is the best I could come up with.) Then again, maybe I’m just high maintenance. I happen to like real whipped cream and real butter. And you better believe I’m disappointed when I go somewhere and don’t get it when I expect it. The butter is not nearly as big an issue as the whipped cream. Call me crazy but I just don’t think hydrogenated vegetable oil whipped to a creamy consistency mixed with high fructose corn syrup is an acceptable substitute for the real deal. Can I get a “BLECH!”? It takes all the glory out of desserts, cheapens them. Here is this gorgeous towering helping of chocolate decadence, drizzled in raspberry sauce and more chocolate decadence and it is topped off with faux whipped topping. It’s like the most stunning platinum ring you’ve ever seen with a cubic zirconia for the stone. Yeah, those darn little things! How about getting cut off in traffic? Or losing your car keys when you’re already late for work? If they’re such little things, why do we respond to them with such frantic drama? Why does the fact I keep locking myself out of the house every time I go out to feed the dogs and have to either break in or borrow the neighbors phone to call for a locksmith make me completely INSANE?!?!? After all, it’s a problem that has an easy, albeit inconvenient remedy. Wouldn’t that qualify as a little thing?
Of course, on the positive side of it, I do love little things. I like watching my dogs get so excited playing with an inanimate canvass cow. Or the facial expression on, Sonny’s face when he realizes he’s committed an infraction, but he’s trying to play it cool. Driving by the cemetery after a heavy snow in the morning while it’s still dark. Or the little girl just beyond the somber, black-clad mourners in her bright pink dress and white tights dancing and doing cartwheels. Finding a no-waiting cashier in Walmart on a Saturday. The smell of Sarah’s coffee in the morning (she makes the best!). My mom gently scratching my head. Listening to A Prairie Home Companion with my dad. Having the boy you like offer you half a chocolate after telling you about how he just read Anne of Green Gables, among other things, over the fall break. Realizing that your dog is only coming to you for affection in an attempt to lure the other dog away from the chew thing she wants so she can run off with it while the other isn’t looking. Little things. They may seem insignificant and you may be the only person who gets to experience some of them at a given moment, but they stay with you.
Maybe we shouldn’t sweat the small stuff and maybe it all really is small stuff, but I really go back and forth on this issue. It is when I’m in my “This is not a little thing, I’m freaking out here!” state of mind that I’m the most agitated and combative. I don’t handle the “Oh, Lisa, calm down. It’s such a little thing!” comments kindly. “Oh yeah? Well so is head lice!” Tell me that doesn’t make you shiver.
8 comments:
Lisa...it is not a small thing that God has blessed you with a gift! The gift of expression and creativity! I loved this post. Thank you. You are so right though. Small things do matter. Like every time Todd brings me my favorite chocolate very unexpectedly just because he knows how much i love chocolate. I love that!! Now who is this boy you referred to?? Do tell. Do tell.
I'll be waiting!
I did tell you about him, Flee. Down in the basement at Sunset, when you come down the east stairwell, second door on the left that room with the huge map in it across from the coke machine . . . about 10 years ago. I believe Amy Gearhart was there, also. He's long gone, there was never anything to tell but that I liked him. That little thing--that moment--has remained with me all this time. ~sigh~
My next post is going to be entitled: "The Curse of the Elephant Memory"
Flee is so right!! You are truly gifted. In every post you make me smile. You don't write about the fantasy but reality as you see it.
Yesterday was a great day for the little things. I made this scavenger hunt for Jerry to find his Valentine's gifts (I didn't spend more than $10 for everything) and he felt bad because he did't really get me anything. What he gave me was this great card with the most amazing handwritten message. I explained to him that what he wrote to me was more than I could have ever asked for. I love the small things.
Then there's the small things...those small things. I can not figure out why people tailgate me, I am notoriously the worst driver ever, in bad weather. The other day, there was ice on the road, as there has been for the last 60 days, and a car going the opposite direction from me came into my lane. I went off the road a bit and then started to slide. Gain control but for the next 5 miles the guy, who saw me slide around, tailgated me. I wasn't driving too slow because I was with the guy in front of me. Anyway, I told that because it is amazing how something small could potentially be something major, like in this case a car wreck!!
Lisa I don't think it was in that room...was it? I thought it was down stairs on the wooden pew near the chapel near that water fountain.
I do totally agree about the small stuff thing : A Virus, having a small baby, a toothache, hangnail, zit. I could go on and on. On that note I believe God has been trying to make us aware of this for each other. A smile, a kind word(even if a harsh one is deserved-huge), a note, a call, a kiss, a moment. We need each other! I need you. There are others that need us, just for the little stuff.
Amy G
I want you to always have real whipped cream. . .and mayonnaise! I love the little nuzzle Mark Darcy gives Bridget Jones at the end of the movie. It was little, but I noticed it, probably because at that moment I want to be the object of Mark Darcy's affection!
Amy, I know I told Flee about it in that room, but perhaps you and I talked about it on that pew by the water fountain. I distinctly remember the map and Flee. It seemed like you were there, too, but it could've been someone else. Maybe I remember you giving your "sermon" in that room during AIM, at which time there wasn't a map that I recall, and then just morphed you in. I have been known to do that sometimes. I need you. I need you to remind me of how precious we really are and how much more treating one another as such will do more for our spirits than any little thing seeking to pull us away from joy.
Sarah, I love watching that part with you and your guaranteed response to it. My favorite little thing is the flash of his leg as he rushes back up the stairs after Natasha "snaps" at him. So cute!!! Really? Even mayonaise?
Jenny, you are so right! What the heck is wrong with people? You be safe up there in the land of perpetual Christmas. If you haven't gotten your new car yet, I think you should get a tank. Yeah, because who's really wants to tailgate a tank?
Hi Lisa,
Remember me, yes it is Ann, Charlie had said he was looking at your blog. I have also looked and could not believe how different you look, I almost did not recognise you. Thinking of you reminded me of the time we spent together and how you took me places when we camw to America. There we so many happy memories, and sometimes it seems like it was just yesterday. Your two dogs are lovely and it sounds like you have a lot of fun with them. I hope you reply to me, it would be wonderful to catch up.
Ann xxxxx
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